


Sealed Heart

by Aibhileann



Category: Final Fantasy XV
Genre: Angst and Tragedy, Developing Friendships, Eventual Smut, F/M, Fluff and Angst, Friends With Benefits, Friendship, Heavy Angst, POV First Person, Violence
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-06-23
Updated: 2019-10-11
Packaged: 2020-05-16 23:14:42
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 4
Words: 15,941
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19328071
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Aibhileann/pseuds/Aibhileann
Summary: With no memory of your past life, you have no choice but to fulfill your duty as a Kingsglaive: protect the people as you wait for the King of Light to return and make the sun shine again on Eos. Someday, Prompto Argentum shows up in your life and it turns out that he holds the link to your past.





	1. See you around

**Author's Note:**

> Written in First Person POV, the main character (you, the reader) is a female Kingsglaive who was born in Insomnia.  
> The majority of the story takes place during the ten years of Noctis' absence (think Comrades because after all this story is inspired after I put hours into the game).

 

Sitting atop the roof of Hammerhead, I look up at the dark skies. Murky and lifeless like a contaminated swamp, perfectly reflecting the eyes and the heart of the people in this world of ruin. But not  _ him_. 

_ Never him_. 

Even in the darkest of these endless nights and in the most helpless of situations, there are always stars in his eyes, concealing whatever tragic truth but a light of hope nonetheless. Staring at the empty darkness, I feel a dull ache in my heart that urges me to close my eyes—only for a drop of tear to roll down my cheek into my closed palm. With a sigh, I open my hand and smile at the old and tattered wristband: the black, poorly hand-knitted piece of cloth. As memories begin to consume me, I let my mind drift to the time when I was just getting accustomed to living in Lestallum.

It had been roughly nine years ago, a year since the Chosen King was absorbed by the crystal and anyone could still tell the night from the day.

 

* * *

 

Curled up in front of the tent besides Iris’ shop, I grit my teeth in frustration. I haven't been able to sleep all night, even though I just got back from a grueling and dangerous mission. I was just supposed to put down some mutant garulas, and in that respect, it was a success, but—

If only I had acted sooner. That man. It should have come as no surprise; a lot of people had been turned and there were even missions to put an end to their misery. However, to see one turn into a daemon in front of my eyes as he cried out for help, trying to fight against the transformation.

It was all I could do to drive my lance into his heart. I won the fight, but there was nothing I could do to save him and—

“Iris!”

With a start, I open my eyes to the sound of a bright, cheery voice. Slowly looking towards Iris, I notice someone running to approach her. Blonde hair, big smile, freckles. Lovely little freckles. Could this be?

All I can remember from my past is that I was a Kingsglaive and I received a duty to defend the citadel during the treaty-signing between Lucis and Niflheim. Niflheim betrayed us, though, and took us for fools. I fought as hard as I could but it was hopeless. I lost my consciousness. When I woke up, I was on the back of a small truck as Libertus took me to Lestallum. The sky looked grim and there was a sense of urgency in the air. He reminded me of our duty as the Kingsglaive and our newfound purpose: protect Lestallum and gather meteor shards. 

From then on, I’ve been relying on whispers among other people to gather information. Some have been kind enough to fill me in on what’s happening. That is how I heard of Prince Noctis’ retainers and how they came back from Niflheim without said Prince. I don’t know if I have ever seen them before—not many Glaives are so lucky to chance upon the royalty. But one of the retainers is a commoner, they say, who trained to be part of the Crownsguard.

Prompto Argentum.

And from the hushed voices I’ve heard, this person here  _ is _ he.

“Prompto!” Iris exclaims. “I thought you were in Hammerhead!”

With a small laugh I feel myself drawn into, he replies, “Oh, you know, just helping Cindy deliver some stuff to Cid.”

He then proceeds to set down a large bag next to Cid’s weapon remodeling station.

“Many thanks, kid, fancy yerself an upgrade?” said the old man as he rummages through the bag.

“Nah, I’m good, Cid. Thanks for the offer. By the way, Cindy’ll be here soon once she finishes her business with Holly,” Prompto adds before turning to Iris. “Hey, you seen Glad—”

Damn it, I’ve been staring for too long. I quickly look away when I realise that our eyes meet but he startles me again with another shout.

“It’s you!”

What did I do? Have I done something wrong in the past that I cannot remember? Slowly and reluctantly, I stand up and face him while still fixing my eyes on the ground, afraid I might offend the Prince’s best friend.

“You’re… Y/N?”

Instead, his voice sounds fragile and surprised, almost as if he has just seen a ghost. But his surprise can’t rival mine in hearing him say my name. He knows my name. Have I really done something in the past?

“I—”

“I can’t believe you’re still alive!”

I gasp, not quite believing my ears when I hear how his voice is breaking. So I start to look up, daring myself to stare at him. He almost looks… relieved.

“You… You know me?”

“Well, I guess—I mean, of course, we were… Wait, you don’t remember me?”

At this, I can only stare blankly as I try to suppress the panic and confusion bubbling in my head. I’m supposed to know  _ the _ Prompto Argentum? Who was I to him?

“Prompto, look,” Iris suddenly cuts in. “She’s… like most of the Glaives, she can’t remember a thing about Insomnia or whatever happened before Noct disappeared. I don’t know who she is to you but please take it easy on her?”

His eyes widen and before I can see the emotion behind it, he looks downwards as if dejected.

“I-I’m sorry.”

Before I know it, I’ve apologised instinctively.

He then stares at me as he opens his mouth to say something but then closes it again to form a little smile, though I can sense the bitterness behind it.

“It’s okay. It’s not your fault. It’s just that you remind me of the good old days.”

_ Good old days. _ I wish I can remember what they’re like. Remembering that the world had been beautiful once might help me believe that I’m not fighting in vain. Knowing who I really was might help me understand my role better.

“I guess thanks, then… for understanding.”

He nods. For a moment, we’re just standing in silence that Iris clears her throat.

“Hey, Y/N, remember how you said you’d love to train with my brother? How ‘bout training with Prompto for now? ‘Cause who knows when my brother would show up. Prompto’s really cool, too, you know, and he’d love to train with you, right Prom?”

“R-right! That’s a great idea, actually. I could use some training, and—I’d love to see you in action.” His smile fades as he uttered the last words rather softly.

Now that I take a good look at him, something does feel familiar but try as I might, I cannot recall any memories of him. To me, he’s just the Prince’s retainer, someone important, someone I should treat with respect even if he was once a commoner.

“If that’s alright with you, sir, then I’d be more than honoured to show my skills,”  I say with a bow.

“Uh, ‘sir’? Me?” He chuckles but quickly clears his throat. “Please, just Prompto.”

I hesitate and look towards Iris, who is observing me with a worried expression. She mouths ‘it’s okay’ and I try saying his name softly.

“See, that wasn’t so hard.”

His smile seems genuine and I feel as if the dark clouds surrounding my heart have begun to clear up. I want to say that it’s nice meeting him or that I’m honoured to make his acquaintance, but… it would probably be rude to say to someone I’m supposed to already know.

“So, when can I fight you?” I ask him instead.

“Whoa, eager, aren’t we? Well, I wouldn’t mind now, but you’re in the middle of a break, aren’t you?”

I shake my head and say, “It’s fine, I’m not that tired. I just had a small headache but I’m all fine, now.”

He tilts his head, and doubt is written all over his face. But despite this, he says, “Well, if you say so, but I should warn you before we start. I’m tougher than I look. Still up for it?”

There’s something endearing about his slanted smile and raised eyebrow. It’s as if he’s just trying to look tough and act cocky to intimidate me into resting. While I appreciate his concern, sparring with him is exactly the kind of distraction I need. So, I look him in the eye and say, “Challenge accepted.”

After waving goodbye to Iris, who cheers me on, Prompto leads me to the bridge between the town and the power plant. We remain silent on our way there but he keeps checking on me. It makes me a little nervous. I have no memory of being alone with a guy. I’ve only trained with female Glaives since my arrival, and that was months ago. I’m pretty confident in my ability to fight, but then I don’t know anything about his combat skills. His act earlier might not have been a complete lie. It’s totally possible for him to defeat me in one go.

“Worried?” he asks as if reading my mind.

“A little,” I admit honestly despite feeling confident that I’m at least on par with him. “You’re a Crownsguard after all, trained by the legendary Cor himself.”

“Ohh, so you’ve met him?”

His tone of voice rises a notch, sounding delighted to learn that I know Cor.

“Well, one or two missions, I guess. He seems really busy.”

He pauses then before saying, “I bet he is.”

As soon as we reach the bridge, Prompto talks to one of the ladies working there so we can have access to the bridge. Then he walks ahead, stopping right in front of the power plant as a gun materialises in his hand. He loads it before looking up at me and saying, “Whenever you’re ready.”

I take a deep breath and then nod as I assume a fighting stance. As my daggers materialise in my hands, I hear the deafening sound of a gun firing. In a flash, I throw one of the daggers towards the beam above his head and warp myself there. I switch to katana and quickly deliver a blow from upwards, but Prompto dodges the blade by rolling forward before releasing another bullet my way. I raise my blade just in time as the bullet hits against the metal, causing me to stagger backwards.

He lets out a small chuckle, making me look up at him and see the animated smile on his face. His eyes hold the most mirth I’ve ever seen in these six months since I regained my consciousness—which feels longer than it should.

“Man, you’re real quick! It almost feels like fighting Noct.”

Then, taking advantage of our distance, he whips out a sort of machine which shoots out small arrows. Encouraged by his compliment, I side-step each arrow as the adrenaline courses through my veins. The second there’s an opening, I throw a dagger at him, forcing his weapon to dematerialise as he evades my attack and allowing me the chance to use my crossbow, but—darn it. To my surprise, he has already slid towards me to deliver a kick from below, effectively disarming me as well as knocking me backwards. Luckily, I catch myself from falling completely, gaining momentum that allows me to roll over and warp to a higher position.

“You’re a lot more nimble than I thought,” I say while I catch my breath. “I might have underestimated you a little.”

“And I’ve only just begun. C’mon, give me your best shot!” he playfully taunts with a smirk which exudes genuine confidence unlike earlier.

I prepare another attack and warp towards him before exchanging a few blows. Our fight continues past sunset, and the more intense it becomes the more I feel ecstatic. Like a well-choreographed performance, our attacks keep missing each other by a hair’s breadth, about which he playfully whines. Nearing the climax, I warp to the far end of the bridge and with twice the speed, I land a hit on his gun for another warp. I’ve finally knocked him over.

Straddling his torso, I hold his gun-wielding hand against his chest while my other hand holds my dagger against his neck with the blunt-side facing him. His pupils dilate, showing me my own widened eyes as I pin him down. For what seems like an eternity, we stay still as the world suddenly feels quiet, save for our laboured breaths.

He’s the first to break the silence with small bursts of laughter—so infectious it is that I feel a giggle bubbling up in my throat.

“As expected from a Kingsglaive. I should’ve known better than to challenge one.”

He seems to be enjoying himself so much, despite having just been defeated, that I can’t brag even if I want to. Is he normally this much of a flatterer? I wonder. As our weapons dematerialise, it finally dawns on us what kind of position we are in. His face reddens as he shifts his gaze and asks, “Hey, uh… I get it that you want to bask in your victory, but…”

I quickly push myself off of him and walk away, too embarrassed to even show my face.

“You almost got me there,” I tell him as I examine the scrape on my arm. “I have never been shot before, not even a graze, but—”

He pulls my hand and crashes a potion over my wound. While I had intended to heal it myself using magic, it feels nice to have someone heal me instead.

“It’s just a small cut, you shouldn’t have to worry, but thanks.”

He nods but then keeps his eyes on me. He seems so focused that I feel burnt under his gaze, and I feel my wrist sweating under his hold.

“Umm, Prompto? Is there something on my face? Another cut, perhaps?” I throw him questions as I touch my face using my other hand.

He goes silent. And then a sigh. He finally looks away and says, “No, it’s… It’s alright. Anyway, thanks for training with me. I had a lot of fun.”

He lets go of my hand and walks away, heading back to the part of the town where most of the world’s populace takes refuge. I wonder what caused the sudden change in his attitude but a thought soon comes to my mind.

Was it about my past? I mean, he  _ definitely _ recognised me. There must be  _ something _ he can tell me about who I was, but...will I be ready to hear it? Suddenly, despite feeling uncertain about whether or not I should learn about my past, I feel the urge to hold on to the only link I have with my past. I want to see and talk to him again.

“Wait, Prompto!”

He turns around and lets out a hum.

“You’re probably the best shooter and I think you can tell that I’m not really good at it. Can you teach me?”

His face lights up although he looks a tad bit surprised.

“For real?”

I nod and smile for what I think is the first time today. Letting out a cheer, he agrees right away and tells me he’ll return to Lestallum after taking Cindy back to Hammerhead.

“Well, then—”

“Wait! Don’t move!”

I freeze on his command, my eyebrows furrowed in confusion.

“Ah, no, not like that. Just… Stay still and relax, and… don’t drop your smile.”

I raise my eyebrows as I feel the blood rushing to my cheeks.

“What? Isn’t that a cheesy pick-up line or…?”

“Yeah, I said… Wait, no! Th-that’s not what I meant— _geez_ , I meant to ask you to—I mean… Could you _ please _ smile? Like what you did earlier?”

Now I’ve made him a flustered mess; his cheeks redder than mine. Though confused about having Prompto suddenly order me around, I try to stand up straight and smile. However, it comes off awkward as he breaks into fits of giggles. I frown and ask, “What  _ is it _ are you planning?”

“Sorry, my bad. Just relax your shoulders. Don’t be stiff and… _please_ smile.”

I try to replicate my position from before as he pulls out his camera from his pocket and goes down on one knee, ready to take a photo.

“You don’t mind, do you?”

_ Oh_. So _ that’s _ what it is. While I’m used to getting my pictures taken—thanks to Vyv—it still makes me nervous because why would Prompto want my picture?

“Well, I don’t mind, it’s nothing new.”

He chuckles and tells me how he had glimpsed my photos at Vyv’s stand. As he tells me to stay still, I hear a shutter click, and then two. Then by the third click, I feel fidgety as I become self-conscious, but I can’t deny that it feels flattering.

“There! It’s perfect!” he says. “Thanks! I’ll leave these with Vyv so you can take a look later.”

“Uhh, right. I’m looking forward to our next training!”

“See you around, Y/N,” he says with a smile and leaves.


	2. Dreaming of light

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Time to shed a little light upon the mystery of your past.

“You’re the talk of the town, kid!  _ Especially _ with these ones taken by our one and only Prompto Argentum!”

Already Vyv is announcing my photos loudly even though I’ve barely reached his stand. There used to be a time when it felt embarrassing to me. But now… it’s like I’m already expecting it whenever I come back to the Glaives’ quarters. Quirking my eyebrow, I scan the three photographs.

“See anything you like? I can frame it for you,” Vyv offers, prompting me to look up.

_ Well _ …

I contemplate for a while before returning to the three photos to examine how I look in each one of them. I never put much thought into my photos, almost always letting Vyv choose whatever he thinks is good. But, these ones  _ actually _ make me stop and think.

No one’s ever caught my angle as good as this, let alone my smile. I like to think that I’m just mediocre, but for once I actually find myself so attractive that I can’t tear my eyes away. For once, I feel… beautiful. The feeling gives me a warm sensation as I bite my lip, trying to suppress a smile.

“You’re right. These  _ are _ good. Do you mind if I take one with me?”

“Sure, sure! They’re yours after all. He specifically told me to give these to you, but you know, if you don’t mind, I’d like to use one for the magz.”

Hmm,  _ for me _ , huh? There is not much difference in the photos besides the angle, but I feel my eyes drawn to one in particular, where it seems more candid, and the sky is more visible, showing wisps of clouds despite being dark. I can even make out a few stars. It’s about as beautiful as it can get these days.

“I’ll take this one. No framing needed.”

That night, for the first time in weeks I sleep like a baby. And instead of having nightmares as expected, I dream of stars in a clear night sky.

 

* * *

 

Waking up never feels right. It is mostly abrupt because I either wake up from a nightmare or someone calls my name, making me wonder if I was always this much of a light sleeper. Other times I’ll have a restless sleep it can barely even be called ‘waking up’. And when I’m lucky enough to get an actual good sleep, waking up only gives me that semblance of peace and quiet, because I know that somewhere out there, someone is quivering in fear, hiding from the terrors of the night. Somewhere, some Glaives are on a mission. And, who knows, maybe somewhere there’s a Glaive who still struggles alone, waiting to be found like I was found.

That’s why… when I hear a voice calling me from outside the tent, I feel anxious.

“Hey, you’re up?

From the voice, I can tell that it belongs to Jenica, one of the Glaives I met when I first got here because we are assigned to the same party.  In that party, there was also a guy named Yura and a girl called Delilah. The four of us have been on many missions together since then.

“Yeah, I’m up,” I answer groggily.

“Get ready then, we need to go to Vesperpool. Monica says a bunch of malboros are behaving unusual, making the fellas in Meldacio uneasy.”

After fixing my appearance a little bit, I leave the tent and say, “Give me a minute and I’ll meet you at the pylon.”

Jenica nods and leaves in a hurry, her light-brown ponytail swaying on her back. I put my coat on and check my weapons before heading towards the pylon near the power plant. The sky is a pale orange, a sign that I somehow woke up later than usual, which also means it won’t be long ‘til the sun sets even though it’s still before noon. Nowadays, “sunset” just means miasma blocking the sun.

Waiting on the pylon are Jenica and a girl with dark brown hair—Delilah. As I climb the stairs of the pylon, I notice two small figures walking towards the Glaives’ quarters. Curious, I squint to see Prompto with a blonde girl next to him. That must be Cindy, Cid’s granddaughter.

“Hey, Y/N, ready to go?” Delilah asks once I reach the top.

“Hm? Oh, yeah, of course,” I say, trying not to get further distracted. Looking around, I don’t see any guy with grey hair tied into a bun. “So, I guess Yura still hasn’t recovered.”

“He’s gotten better. He even wanted to come but Monica decided against it,” Jenica says as she nods towards the cable car.

I fall silent, thinking of the previous mission. After the mutant garulas were slaughtered, a man emerged from a shack, and I was the first to approach him. But I was a second too late to notice the sticky black substance leaking from every hole in his face. The man tried to reach for me, screaming for help, and like an idiot, I hesitated. Yura came to my aid but ended up taking a pretty serious blow, snapping me out of it. Then, I remember screaming as I killed that man.

“I truly hope there’s no infection,” Delilah adds in a low voice as she follows Jenica into the cable car. Worry is written all over her face.

“So far he’s alright, but there’s no telling. The symptoms sometimes show up real late,” Jenica states matter-of-factly, her eyes distant. What happened to Yura must be weighing on her the most. The two are almost inseparable, after all.

Stepping into the cable car, I steal one last glance towards the town. Cindy appears to be talking to Cid while Prompto looks at her attentively. His eyes are soft and his lips curl up slightly. Could it be that they are together? I can’t deny they make a lovely couple. As the car leaves Lestallum, I see them walking towards the ramparts, and I wonder how long it will take to see him again.

When the cable car makes a stop at a pylon near Vesperpool, I can’t help but ask, “So, it’s just the three of us today?”

“According to Monica, a senior Glaive is going to help us in Yura’s place, and she’s already waiting at the nearest haven,” Jenica answers with an impatient tone.

While Jenica is a woman of few words, she is always kind and patient. Her silence has never felt cold before. Delilah is the first to say something.

“Jen, you’re sure you’re good to go? We understand, really, if you’d rather go back and watch over Yura.”

“She’s right. The both of us and the other Glaive can totally handle it,” I chime in.

Jenica avoids our gaze and stutters, “N-no, I’m still in, it’s just—I’m sure he’s alright. I just can’t stop thinking—what if he gets infected with the Starscourge?”

She looks up at me and I don’t think I’ve ever seen her look so vulnerable. I can’t bear to think what we would have to do if such a thing happens. It  _ is _ possible considering magic couldn’t fully heal his injuries. Filled with guilt, I squeeze Jen’s shoulder lightly, trying to comfort her.

“We’ll figure it out. I think the chances of getting infected are small, but… if worse comes to worst, I…” I feel my chest tighten as I picture myself taking another life—my friend’s life—and I continue with a trembling voice, “I’ll—”

“Hush, none of that now!” Delilah interjects, slapping me in the arm. Then, even though it must be hard for her as well, she puts on a smile and takes both of our hands.

“You know what Yura would say at times like this?”

Pretending as if our missing friend is here, we feel our morale increasing.

“Let’s take out those stinking malboros!”

 

* * *

 

After walking for quite a while, we finally reach the safe haven, marked by the lit fire and a few tents set up. The Glaive who will be helping us already awaits as she stands on the edge, observing the malboros from afar. Upon approaching her, I notice how tall she is—taller than even Jenica, the tallest of us three. Something about her feels mysterious and intimidating, especially since we can’t see her face underneath the hood.

“I hope you guys don’t mind if we skip formalities, we need to move now. Malboros are slow but it’s clear that they’re headed towards the main road. There are three of them, and two are sprouting the little ones. If we let them be any longer, there’s no telling which outpost might be put in danger. Grab what you need and we’ll move,” she orders almost without a pause, and without taking her eyes off the malboros.

Her voice is deep and assertive that we obey her immediately. Then, after we make our final preparation, she jumps from the haven and runs towards the swamps. The three of us follow suit.

“The name’s Mell in case you guys need anything. Now, which one of you is usually in charge of healing and support?”

“Ah, that would be me,” Delilah says.

“Alright, then you know what to do. Don’t stay too close, and watch out for their poison.”

With the malboros practically within our reach, Mell stops and takes cover behind one of the rocks, then she turns towards us.

“Okay, now which one of you two is—”

She pauses all of a sudden, her mouth hanging open, and I think I heard a soft gasp. But it’s hard to read her expression as her eyes are obscured.

“…faster. Which one of you is faster?” she finishes her sentence and then clears her throat.

“I am. I warp the fastest and I can fight mid-air,” I answer.

“Okay, then you’re in charge of the sprouts, and when you’re done, focus on attacking the big ones from above.”

“Roger.”

“You,” Mell says, pointing at Jenica. “You’re going to team up with me, attacking one malboro at a time, striking from the back whenever possible.”

Jenica nods.

“Good. Ready?”

Instead of answering, we summon our weapons. On Mell’s cue, we enter the fray, landing a blow to the nearest malboro. While Jenica and Mell constantly switch roles between distracting and striking from the back, I warp from one sprout to another, slaying them as I go. Delilah maintains a distance, providing a shield whenever the malboro is spewing poison gas or attacking us. Maintaining a good synergy, we manage to finish one malboro and half of the sprouts before another approaches.

However, panic starts to set in as both of the remaining ones have gotten closer, surrounding us. Mell and Jenica have no choice but to split. As soon as I’ve finished the sprouts, I come to Jenica’s aid. Warping to the sky to prepare an aerial attack, I realise that it’s about to gobble Delilah from her back so I scream her name. She manages to warp away in the nick of time, but I’ve lost balance and fall, missing my aim. I wince in pain and look up to see thousands of sharp teeth surrounding the dark abyss that is the creature’s mouth. Breathing in shallow pants, I can smell the foul stench.

“I got this!” Delilah conjures a shield to protect me from the sickly green smoke as well as telling me to aid Mell instead. Realising the danger caused by two malboros being too close, Jenica lures one to create a distance. Meanwhile, I join Mell who apparently has managed to put the monster in a vulnerable state. Together, we finish it by delivering warp-strikes in turns, and I realise how perfectly in sync we are even though I've never fought with her. By the time the sky has turned dark, the last malboro falls down to the ground.

After taking the monsters’ edible parts, Mell urges us to go back to the haven unless we want to be held back by a swarm of daemons and fight all night. So, we run as fast as we can, and the moment we step on the haven, Mell takes off her hood. Without even letting us catch our breath, she pulls me into a sudden hug, surprising us all.

“Y/N! I finally get to see you!” she exclaims.

After squeezing me hard, she lets go but keeps her hands on both of my shoulders. Before I can say anything, she already bursts forth.

“When Libertus told me he found you, I couldn’t believe my ears! But I was so relieved I cried, and I had tried so hard to reach you, to visit Lestallum, but I couldn’t. I have been going from one haven to another, helping other parties, hoping to see you eventually, and finally!”

Though her expression is beyond happy, her voice is thick with tears and her eyes are sparkling. Taking me in her arms again, she lets her tears fall on my shoulder. The whole time I haven’t even blinked my eyes and my body feels rigid. The other two share my confusion and Delilah is quick to come to my aid.

“Umm, Mell, isn’t it? I’m sorry, but—” she hesitates.

“Delilah! And Jenica! I… I can’t tell you how relieved I am to see all of you together again!”

“What do you mean?” Jenica inquires.

“You know that back then, you guys were also grouped together on missions. I’m the one who trained you. I must be taking Yura’s position today, hm?”

The new piece of information has managed to shock us even more. I can’t even feel my body at this point. My blood runs cold. We actually  _ knew _ each other from way back?  _ The four of us _ ? We had always been friends and yet none of us knew. When we met in Lestallum we just introduced ourselves like we were strangers. The three of us exchange glances and I can tell we share the same thought.

Jenica can only nod in response, then another silence. The atmosphere grows uncomfortable and somber, and even Mell’s smile disappears. Changing the subject, she starts discussing our fight earlier while gathering ingredients from the provision tent.

“You know, you guys did really great. I am really proud of you. I didn’t even have to give a lot of orders…” She falters and then continues in a low voice, “But then again, once I saw who you guys were, I knew we would be just fine.”

“You know what happened to us that day then?” I ask.

But she just goes on preparing dinner, letting my question hang in the air.

“Look,” she finally says. “I shouldn’t have acted on my emotions like earlier. I’d be more than willing to tell you guys about the past, but… I don’t want to overwhelm you any more than I already did.”

“It’s fine,” I say, trying to steel my resolve. I look towards my two comrades and, although shock is still apparent on their faces, they nod as well.

She looks into our eyes, trying to read our conviction.

“You’ve stirred our curiosity, so you might as well finish or keep us awake all night,” I try to convince her.

“Well… then let’s talk about it after dinner.”

Before long, Mell serves each of us a kind of stew. We gather by the fire in silence and gobble up the food, not realising how hungry we are. Both Jenica’s and Delilah’s expressions contort slightly. The latter almost chokes even, letting out small coughs.

“Must be strong for you guys, isn’t it? It’s the Galahdian spices. They’re rare these days.”

While it does have a strong taste, I am not at all taken aback. The smell itself is somehow nostalgic, and when I put the first spoon into my mouth, it tastes like home.

“I’m sorry about my reaction. It’s actually good, I’ve just never tasted anything like this before,” Delilah says.

Mell smiles fondly at us all. When we’ve finally finished our meal, she starts her story.

“That day… I received word from Libertus that he was on his way to leave the city… with the Oracle. He told me that I should retreat, as all the other Glaives. Wouldn’t have wanted to flee like a coward, mind you, but we were clearly hopeless. The King had died, and we lost our access to his magic. Insomnia’s fate was inevitable the moment the dawn broke and still we couldn’t push back. I knew right then that I had to find you. I kept telling myself I should at least save my own recruits.”

Mell turns to look at me and pauses. 

“And you… You’ve always felt like a sister to me.”

I stare at the ground, not knowing how to react. Swallowing the lump in her throat, Mell fixes her gaze on the fire.

“I fought my way to reach where the four of you were stationed, and I did find you—the four of you and even a couple of other Glaives—trying to fight the daemons released by the empire without the help of magic. You were surrounded, and the tall buildings were collapsing, and I…” Mell stops, her voice cracking. “I ran as fast as I could and called out to you, but… it was too late. The building collapsed, and I almost got buried myself.”

Does that mean we survived the collapse after all? And while such damage can cause memory loss, how is it possible that all of us remember nothing? And what happened to us between the fall and the disappearance of the Prince? I look at the faces of my friends and see Jenica taking a deep breath while Delilah bites her thumbnail.

“Everything afterwards was a blur. Somehow I made it out of the city even though I was suffering countless injuries. For long I had assumed the worst so you can imagine my surprise  _ and _ relief when Libertus told me he had found you. It is still a mystery, however, that Glaives were suddenly found walking around aimlessly, trying to fend for themselves out there. And no one knows why these Glaives in particular lost their memories. So, I apologise that I cannot answer that.”

Her story comes to an end, she looks at us one by one and then puts on a big smile though her eyes are glassy.

“Thanks Mell… for telling us your story,” says Delilah while returning the smile.

For a moment, I can’t say a thing, having too much on my mind. It’s too much of a coincidence that two people have claimed to know me in the past for two days straight. I can’t help but be slightly frustrated that I can’t remember anything at all. The rest of the night passes by in silence until we decide to sleep in our tents, bidding only goodnight.

As I lie down, I take out my cellphone and try to turn it on. But it’s no use. It’s been dead for months. When I first found it in my pocket, it still had a bit of power but I couldn’t remember the password. Clueless about myself, I was eager to see its contents. I tried borrowing chargers, but none could work. Eventually, I gave up because I couldn’t remember the password anyway, and resetting it might result in data loss. I sigh, wondering when I can access my own phone. So I just stare into the black screen until I feel myself drift off, taken over by exhaustion.

 

* * *

 

I feel my face getting warm as a white light pierces through my eyelids. I lift my hand to cover some light and try to open my eyes but it’s still shining so blindingly bright. I look away and blink my eyes until I can make out my surroundings. Standing in a small room, I see a girl sitting on a chair next to me. She is looking towards the open door, where the sunlight pours in. I take a closer look at the girl’s face and gasp. She’s…  _ me_. _ Younger  _ me and with glasses, but  _ definitely _ me. I wave my hand in front of her but she doesn’t even flinch.

Is this my memory? My past?

Then I glance towards the door, and I see a tall figure standing by the door. She has some braids in her long auburn hair and her eyes are deep russet. Her smile reminds me of the warmth of a campfire. I know her. I’ve just met her today. She speaks to another older woman, who is holding the door open.

“Good afternoon, Ma’am! I just moved in next door so I figured I should introduce myself. I’m Mell Quercus. Please take care of me.”

The next thing I know, they’re all sitting together, my younger self next to “Ma’am”. She must be my mother, but I can’t see her face. They talk of many things but I only hear bits and pieces.

“You guessed right, Ma’am, these braids are proof of my Galahdian roots. You know, actually, I’m in the Kingsglaive,” Mell declares.

“You’re a Kingsglaive? That’s so cool!” exclaims my teen-self, excitement all over her face.

Suddenly I hear the sound of a cheerful crowd in the distance, a playful tune playing in the background, and I turn around to find myself standing in the middle of a plaza. The sun shines brightly above me and I look up to see the azure sky where birds are flying by. 

“My, how considerate of you, young man! You show her around and give her a good time for me, ya hear?”

Mell’s voice pulls my gaze down to see myself walking towards me but then stopping to look behind her. I follow her gaze and see Mell behind a food stand, preparing a sandwich for the boy in front of her. He wears a white shirt and brown capris, holding a sandwich in his left hand. And though I try to look at his face, my vision is blocked yet again as if sunlight is reflected right into my eyes. I can only see up to his neck and chin, red as apples. He stutters in reply, but his voice, too, is muffled.

Once he receives the other sandwich, he bows a little and runs to my younger self’s side. He offers her the sandwich, and she says, “Umm, I’ve actually already eaten.”

He stutters a string of apologies, making her feel bad that she quickly takes a bite, telling him she’s only joking. Then together they walk away, disappearing in the midst of the festive crowd. I see Mell watching over them, a contented smile on her face. It’s such a vibrant sight with chocobo and moogle decorations all around.

 

* * *

 

I wake up with a start. Sitting straight, I feel myself sweating and my body hot, but it doesn’t feel feverish. Blinking my eyes several times, I try to relive the events in my dream just now—afraid I might forget them completely like most dreams are forgotten.

These  _ aren’t _ just dreams. They’ve  _ got _ to be my memories. It’s true. The world used to be beautiful. I had a normal life, and I even got to enjoy the Moogle-Chocobo Carnival. I let out a small laugh once I successfully recall everything that I saw in my dream—though I still can’t figure out my mother’s face nor who that boy was. 

As the dawn breaks, Jenica, Delilah, and I prepare to leave.

“Where will you be going now, Mell?” Delilah asks, her voice sounds mellow.

“Oh, well, wherever I’m needed, but I’ll probably stay here for now in case there are some suspicious activities,” Mell explains.

“I really admire your dedication to help other Glaives,” Jenica adds, showing one of her rare smiles. “Thank you.”

“Actually I kinda hoped you’d come to Lestallum with us,” Delilah confesses. “Tell us more about the past.”

Mell puts on a languid smile. “Another time, I promise.”

Then, giving Mell and me some space, the other two busy themselves with packing the malboro tentacles.

“Can we talk?” I ask without really expecting an answer. “You wouldn’t believe what I dreamed of.”

Her eyes light up with interest as she raises her eyebrows.

“I had a dream, or maybe a flashback, about my past—my memories. I saw the first time you introduced yourself and… Did we get to enjoy the Moogle-Chocobo Carnival?” I ask to confirm that my dream wasn’t just a dream.

With widened eyes and a growing smile, she says, “So you remember? It’s true we went to the carnival, though we were mostly working.”

I gulp. Though I somewhat feel happy to see her happy about me remember something, I have to let her know that I still don’t feel connected to these memories. That I don’t remember anything else.

“I’m sorry… I tried, but I can’t remember anything else. These memories don’t feel like mine, either. When I was dreaming, it felt more like watching someone else’s life. I feel like… I’m inhabiting someone else’s body.”

Her face falls, and she lets out a sigh. However, she cups my cheek and says, “It’s alright, I understand. I just want you to know that even though it stays like this and you’re not the same Y/N I know, you’ll always be my sister.”

Despite her melancholy smile, she looks at me like she’s proud of me. She lets go of my cheek after giving me a soft pinch. I twitch and she giggles.

“Thank you for triggering a small bit of my memories,” I say in return.

“Stay safe now, you and your friends. I’ll come visit as soon as I can.”

On our way back to Lestallum, I ask Jenica and Delilah whether they remember anything about the Moogle-Chocobo Carnival, and the conversation turns lively as they recall bits and pieces, but nothing specific about their lives. They just start to remember what games or events one can enjoy in the carnival. It fills me with hope that we get to chat like this again. After the previous mission, and after making sure Yura wasn’t in mortal danger, I distanced myself…

That’s right. I left thinking they would blame me for what happened. Even I blamed myself as I struggled with the disturbing images in my head. In fact, I still blame myself.

“Hey, are you alright?” Jenica asks as I get silent all of a sudden. I don’t know what to say.

“Y/N…,” Delilah calls me as she puts a reassuring hand on my shoulder.

“Do you guys…,” I stammer and then swallow a gulp, not sure how to continue.

_Do you guys blame me for what happened?_ is what I would like to ask, but instead, I ask them, “Have you guys ever met Prompto?”

“Prompto? You mean Prompto Argentum?” Delilah asks as her expression turns suspicious.

I nod as I avoid their gaze, knowing full well I don’t really need an answer to that. I mean, if they’ve ever met Prompto, I think I’d know. And now I just feel stupid for asking about him. Of all the things I can pretend to be curious about…

Jenica shakes her head. “Why?”

“Well… it’s just that the last two days feel weird to me. Yesterday was Mell and the day before that, I met Prompto.”

Now I probably sound like I’m bragging.

“You met Prompto!? Wait, are you sure his last name was Argentum? You don’t mean the Prince’s close friend, do you?” Delilah asks eagerly, her expression a mix of disbelief and awe. Even Jenica shows interest now.

“Right, now that you mention it, I've just realised that we didn’t introduce ourselves properly, but I’m certain. He fits the description, he knows Iris, and… Vyv, I think, also referred to him with that name.”

“So you just saw him?” Jenica asks.

“Uhh, no, what I meant is that we didn’t introduce ourselves because I already knew who he was and apparently he recognised me too.”

“He knew you?! You’re saying there’s finally someone who might know your past?” Delilah's jaw drops.

“That’s right. Which is why it feels odd for Mell to show up the next day,” I say, genuinely feeling in a daze about the serendipitous circumstance.

“Who would have thought? That you knew one of the royalties.”

“Oh, no, he’s not royalty. I think they say he used to be a commoner, too.”

“What is he like then?” Jenica asks, unusually curious.

As I think of my first impression on him, I grow timid. With hesitation and a lot of pauses, I try to describe him as objectively as I can.

“Well, he’s… like what they say. Blonde. Spiky hair. Freckles. And his eyes… Wait, his eyes are…”

I can’t remember the colour. I try to think of when I looked into his eyes and the only time I  _ really _ did that was when I straddled him. The thought causes heat to rise to my cheeks and my brain short-circuit as I become tongue-tied. It’s not funny, was I  _ that _ flustered? That I can’t remember? Is it blue? Violet? Or maybe grey? It was dark after all.

Delilah’s giggles cut my train of thought, and I see Jenica covering her mouth though her shoulders are shaking.

“I actually meant what kind of person he is.”

“My, I’ve never seen this expression on you. He must be  _ quite _ a guy,” Delilah teases me.

It’s true that I find him rather attractive. His side-profile is pleasing in particular. Maybe that’s why I’m flustered. It’s nothing deep, of course, I’ve just known the guy for a day—well, technically. But realising how I misunderstood the question gets me embarrassed and I try to laugh it off.

Then I start thinking about how he acted but all I can remember is how he felt distant, yet at the same time, approachable. He clearly had a lot on his plate but he was so good in lightening up the mood that I didn’t realise. In fact, I don’t remember having that much fun before. I wonder if we were friends. I can’t even begin to imagine how it feels when someone you’re close with has forgotten about you. Or did I slight him? Maybe he was about to take out his anger on me but took pity upon knowing I couldn’t even remember what I had done.

Before I could give Jenica the answer she wanted, we’ve finally arrived in Lestallum. We have just stepped out of the car when a voice calls out to me.

“Y/N! Over here!”

I look down and follow the voice to see a small figure with blonde hair waving at me. As if reading my mind, his cheery voice tells me I have nothing to worry about. I didn’t even expect him to return to Lestallum so soon. All at once, even though my heart is as cloudy as the skies, everything feels a little brighter. And I just can’t wait to see what the future awaits.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There's not much Prompto in this chapter but I hope you guys enjoyed it! I personally had a blast writing it because I had to give personalities to the AI-companions in Comrades (Jenica, Delilah, and Yura, for those who might not know) and that is challenging for me. And adding headcanons here and there is also a lot of fun, like about the braids (as we can see with Nyx and Libertus) being a Galahdian thing and how Moogle-Chocobo Carnivals are probably held yearly and in different places (some year in Altissia, others in Lucis/Insomnia, etc). Anyways, let me know what you guys think. Comments are totally welcome, and I love getting criticisms/suggestions.


	3. Guilt ridden

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> "Eos used to be beautiful. It's a world worth fighting for. But does it have a place for me?"

The first time I remember visiting Old Lestallum, it was for a mission to escort the refugees surrounding the area, many of them from Altissia. It was one of my first missions and I still barely knew my teammates. As such, we weren’t close and we often went our separate ways outside of work. That time was no exception. Once we had escorted the refugees safely, Jenica headed back to Lestallum right away, Yura took a break on one of the benches, and Delilah was busy accommodating the disoriented Altissians.  


I myself wandered around the place quite aimlessly. Why I did that, I wasn’t sure. Perhaps I was in search of something to remember even though there wasn’t much to hope considering the state of the town. The motel was out of business in favour of becoming a shelter and Crow’s Nest had become some sort of warehouse. The entrances were blocked and guarded by a few hunters, helped by some Altissian guards.

But something  _ did  _ interest me.

Some children were lost in their own world, playing hide-and-seek, disconnected from the darkness and despair plaguing Eos. As I observed the children, I had wished for them to remain the beacon of hope by keeping their innocence until the day we could all see the sun again. It was then that a man suddenly came to my side, prompting me to turn and see who it was. Though I did not recognise him, he wore a navy blue uniform with white facings, which could only belong to an Altissian guard.

“I heard the Kingsglaive was a bunch of traitors,” he said out of nowhere as he stared blankly ahead with eyes as lifeless as they were cold. Before I could even consider what to say in response, he turned to me and continued, “For the record, we would’ve never tolerated that sort of treason in Altissia.”

I remember sinking deep into his eyes, thinking of how empty they were that I felt invisible. But as my mind replayed his words, I could feel eyes on me like hundreds of tiny needles on my back. I can’t remember whether it really happened or if it was just my paranoia. But that feeling and his words still haunt me to this day.

Ever since that day, I have confined myself to the Glaives’ quarters and haven’t been to the other parts of the town again—where there are refugees… where I am hated.

 

* * *

 

It is said that Lestallum used to be a warm and sunny place. Unfortunately, I’d have no way of experiencing that because Lestallum now is bleak and cold—almost lifeless. Right this second, however, I feel none of its chilly air even though there’s only Prompto and me up here. With my back pressed firmly to his chest, I feel the warmth radiating off his body and seeping into my skin. He gives me a light squeeze on my shoulders and speaks softly, “Take your aim…”   


Holding Prompto’s handgun, I scan the view beyond Lestallum’s ramparts. What ought to be a lively and festive road is now reduced to piles of rubble, broken signs, scattered posters, fallen tables and chairs. I swallow a lump in my throat and ask Prompto, “Where should I aim?”

“Let’s see. Oh! We—I mean  _ you _ —can try shooting that trash can over there. How ‘bout it? It’s not too small or too far, so… It’s perfect for starters!”

There’s something in the way he speaks that I can hear his smile and feel reassured. With his guidance, I aim the gun towards the trash can.

“Now take a deep breath…”

His voice a low tremble as he places one hand on my left elbow, straightening my arms to fix my stance, and then uses his other hand to carefully place my finger on the trigger. Like a good student, I do as I’m told and breathe in. Letting out a steady exhale, I feel as if the world is hushed into such complete silence that I can hear the soft thumping of heartbeat from behind me—the rhythm slower than mine. As my arms are beginning to hurt from having to extend forward for a while, he finally asks, “Ready?”

As soon as I nod, I feel his forefinger slowly pressing mine to pull the trigger. Once it’s pulled all the way back, a loud noise fills the air and I feel a strong force in my hands, forcing me to close my eyes in preparation for the recoil. But instead… I remain pretty much still so I open my eyes and… I hit it! The trash can is toppled over! I turn my head like a child eager for a reaction and find him smiling at me.

“It wasn’t so scary, was it?” he says with a little chuckle in his throat.

Had I been doing this alone, I would probably get knocked by the recoil since I was unaware of its strength. But thanks to him, I merely bumped into his chest. And other than getting numb, my hands remain in the same position with the gun because his hands have been gripping mine firmly. He did all this to make sure my first experience with a gun would be fun instead of scary. And I can’t help but feel touched by his consideration.

I nod and thank him with a smile. And then… we stare at each other in silence. With his arms still around me and his hands on mine, I start noticing things like how large his hands are and how safe being in his arms makes me feel. I look away as I feel my face getting warmer.

“Uhh, s-sorry,” he stutters and moves to the side, letting go of me and robbing me of his warmth. “Where were we? Oh, right, I guess you should try without my help now.”

“Right. What should I shoot now?”A silly question as I can just shoot any object out there. Not like we have the luxury to prepare actual practice targets. 

“Well, anything you like—I mean—it’s up to you. I didn’t mean that you should shoot things that you like, though,” he says, scratching the back of his head, and then lets out a sigh.

I feel an upward tug at the corners of my lips as I see him trying to hide his embarrassment only to get even more flustered. And here I thought I was the only one getting all antsy and nervous. His slight frown and uncertain eyes as he fails to act calm and collected. Eventually, I lose to the invisible force in my cheeks and find myself trying to stifle a laugh.

“H-hey, what’s so funny?”

“I’m sorry,” I tell him with a huge grin still on my face. “You were so red I forgot how nervous I was.”

His sulk now turns into a smile though his cheeks are still red. It’s just like when we sparred the other day. Being around him makes me forget about my own worries and the world seems a tad bit brighter. Once we’ve both calmed down, I try to get into the right shooting stance that he showed earlier.

“I wish I had my camera ready.”

“What?” I ask, not sure if I heard him right.

“N-no, nevermind. So, what are you gonna shoot?”

I stare at him for a while, hoping he’d change his mind and tell me what he said. But all he does is look around to find a possible shooting target so I let it slide although unwillingly.

“Maybe that sign over there?” I finally decide, pointing my gun at one of the parking signs.

“Shoot away, then.”

I take a firm grip and pull the trigger but… I miss the target as the bullet hits the sign’s pole instead.

“Ow, that was close!” I hear him shout.

It comes as no surprise since I haven’t made myself comfortable and my eyes still flinch. Nonetheless I feel satisfied that I managed to shoot by myself. He tells me to try again and the second one hits the edge of the sign. He cheers and then looks at me in astonishment.

“You learn fast, that was really good for a second time!”

“Really?”

“Yeah! Just keep on trying and I’m sure you’ll be a sharpshooter soon.”

“You’re just flattering me again, it’s not like I hit a bullseye on the first try,” I say, trying to suppress a grin that threatens to show my swelling pride.

“It’s  _ still _ an accomplishment, Y/N. You  _ should _ be proud of yourself,” he says, patting me on the back. It’s nice that he thinks like that but shouldn’t he be more strict as a teacher?

“How about we make a deal?” he suggests. “There are three rounds left which means you have three chances to hit that sign right in the middle. If you manage to do it, I’ll let you have that gun and you can practice by yourself even when I’m not around.”

“And if I fail?”

“If you fail? Hmm, I haven’t thought about that. Anything you think of? Something you hate or don’t want to happen?” he asks with his arms folded. He then walks a few steps ahead as he mutters some ideas to himself.

“I don’t really have any idea but I think I’d hate for us to stop seeing each other just when we’ve gotten closer.”

I surprise myself with the words that just came out of my mouth that I feel myself turning red instantly. I just made an assumption that we have gotten closer. What’s more? It was so bold of me to say I want to keep seeing him. What is wrong with me today? But he doesn’t respond or turn around to see me. And not being able to see his reaction adds to my anxiety. I can only see one of his ears and it has gotten red. Then it hits me how often I see him blushing or getting flustered.

“Prompto…”

This doesn’t mean that he has any feelings for me, does he? What if we were… in the past?

“Just gimme a sec. That came outta nowhere, you took me by surprise is all. No girl has ever said that before.”

Oh. He’s just incredibly shy then? That has to be it. But, wait. No girl ever? Not even Miss Cindy?

“Anyway, if that’s really how you feel then let’s just settle with that for now,” he says as he finally turns around, though he still covers half of his face with his hands.

I nod but getting somehow more tense. Not really because of what’s at stake but because of my own shameless words. Of course there was nothing between us. I’m a Glaive. An immigrant. For someone like me to be involved romantically with a Crownsguard? It wouldn’t be likely. I feel my chest tighten and my hands clammy as I pull the trigger. The bullet shoots with a loud bang.

Darn it! I completely miss the mark, not even a scratch on the edge. I grunt in frustration and hear a soft gasp—not a word this time—as if he’s just as nervous about this. Getting slightly eager, I release another bullet and luckily it hits closer to the mark. Feeling encouraged, I turn to him and find his blue eyes looking at me with such determination that says he believes in me.

That’s right, his eyes are blue like cornflowers, and I feel so much at ease staring into them. He nods and I finally let out a breath I didn’t know I was holding. Telling myself to calm down as I still have another chance to carefully take my aim, I take another deep breath and then pull the trigger.

At last! A hole right in the middle of the sign which is now swaying unsteadily.

“I did it!” — “You did it!” we exclaim in unison.

Out of sheer excitement, I turn to him with a big smile I’m no longer holding back. He raises his hand for a fist bump, and I happily give him one once the gun has dematerialised.

“Awesome, Y/N! I knew you could do it!” he cheers, looking almost as happy as if it was his own accomplishment. “You know, even if you couldn’t do it, I would’ve given you the gun anyways,” he adds with a proud smile.

“No way. Does that mean you would still see me too even if I fail?” I ask, still grinning from ear to ear.

“Hmm, I don’t know about that,” he teases in a sing-song tune, smirking and glancing sideways. “Nah, I’m just kidding, I’d hate to do that!”

Lost in our own little euphoria, I let out a laugh and give him a light slap on his arm. “You’re kind of a brat, aren’t you?”

He chuckles before pulling out his camera and snapping a quick picture of both of us. But while he was ready for the camera, I was not. The result is a photo of him smiling and, next to him, is an unflattering expression of half-laughing, half-surprised—my mouth stretching wide awkwardly. He seems to be amused as he sticks out his tongue and lets out an impish laugh.

“Scratch that, you  _ are _ a brat, and you’d better remove that photo or I’ll—”

“My bad, my bad,” he cuts me off as he claps my shoulder, standing really close next to me. Then as he puts up his camera once again, he says, “You deserve a proper selfie.”

Once he makes sure that I’m ready for the camera, he snaps another picture of us smiling as if we’re a couple of tourists. These two photos he gives to me then. They serve as a reminder that I, too, can still smile and laugh even when I thought I couldn’t anymore.

“Hey, wanna grab a bite?” Prompto asks as we climb down the scaffolding. “Unless you have somewhere else to be, of course.”

“Not really but I’m not hungry yet…” Or so I thought until my stomach growls. I didn’t realise that it’s already somewhere in the afternoon.

“When was the last time you had a meal?” he asks while trying to hold back his laughter.

“Last night, after a mission. But it’s no big deal, I’ll eat later.”

“Oh c’mon, it’s lunchtime, which means we can go to the market and get in line for our share.”

“T-the market? Uhh, I’d rather not.”

“Why not?”

Using the ingredients provided by hunters and Glaives, people who can cook gather and prepare food to be rationed for everyone. For now, we can still afford to feed people twice a day but there are talks about reducing it to once a day as the number of refugees increases while resources are decreasing every day. With a problem like that, Glaives are encouraged not to depend on rations and cook for ourselves at camps. However, that is not the reason why I feel reluctant about going to the market. Monica  _ did _ mention that we can get our ration  _ sometimes _ . It’s the fact that the market is full of refugees.

“It’s… crowded. I don’t really like crowds,” I say as I try to avoid his gaze, thinking hard of excuses not to go to the market. I’d hate to deny his invitation to have lunch together but I don’t want to experience that feeling anymore.

To my surprise, he takes my hand and drags me to the direction of the market. But he’s not being forceful. In fact, his hand around my wrist, although firm, feels gentle.

“H-hey, Prompto!”

“I’m sorry but you can’t just starve yourself. And it  _ is _ crowded but it’s crowded with people under your protection.”

I wish I could tell him the real reason why but that would just make me weak. And I  _ can’t  _ appear weak as a Glaive. I’ve shown enough weakness in front of him. Backing out just because of dirty stares?  _ Get a grip. _ But…  _ a bunch of traitors. _ That’s it. A traitor doesn’t deserve to have their share of food.

“Sure it is our duty to protect the people but I’m sure you know our reputation. I don’t think I deserve to eat there.”

He pauses and stops in his tracks.

“Yeah, I’ve heard.” He turns to me and then looks into my eyes with the kind of intensity that I saw the first time he called my name. “But those are just mindless rumours spread by some people. People who have lost hope and run out of people and things to blame. Yeah, there’s truth in those rumours, but…

“But I believe in you, Y/N.”

He smiles an earnest smile this time. His eyes are a gentle pair of blue orbs calming my senses. Without knowing what our relationship was in the past, I’ve decided to hold on to those words. Although I’m still haunted by feelings of guilt, I’ve decided to believe that I wasn’t a traitor.

“Oh sorry, was I being harsh?” he says, letting go of my wrist. I shake my head and we continue our walk towards the market, where I am to face one of my fears. I clear my throat and try to start a conversation.

“I thought  _ you _ wouldn’t be able to stick around for long.”

He lets out a dry chuckle before leading the way towards one of the narrow streets.

“Well, you’re right about that, but to return on the same day wouldn’t be wise. First of all, I’m hungry. Second, it’s gotten dark. And finally, it’s a waste of resources to go back and forth so many times. So I’m going back to Hammerhead tomorrow.”

“Oh, yeah. Gotta help Miss Cindy out, right?”

Once the name slips from my lips, he slows down and turns to look at me with a sheepish smile.

“Something like that.”

We’ve finally reached the town’s market which is packed with people from all over Eos—only it’s not really a market anymore. As we walk among people sitting and cuddling each other for warmth, I feel myself sweating profusely, my heart palpitating, and my head throbbing with pain. I try to distract myself by imagining the days when it used to be a crowd loud with merchants trying to attract buyers and buyers trying to haggle over prices. But it’s no use, I get more and more delirious and as I look into those empty stares, I gulp but my throat is dry and I can only taste bitterness. My vision starts to blur and I see flashes of that man I killed before he turned and of Yura getting hurt. Every weak whisper sounds like  _ ‘look, a traitor’ _ to my ears. At times, they even sound like my friends blaming me for what happened. Whispers become noises, noises become buzzes, and just as I’m about to cover my ears…

“Y/N!” Prompto calls out my name as he claps my shoulder, breaking the spell called guilt I was under.

“You okay?”

Like a charm, his words and hands on my shoulders feel reassuring. I give him a weak nod.

“You’re sweating like hell,” he comments while he wipes off my sweat. With every touch, I can feel my heart rate slowing down.

All I have to do is focus on him and the stares and whispers slowly disappear. His downturned lips and furrowed eyebrows, like a worried puppy, feels so very familiar. It’s like I can trust him.

“Prompto.”

“Hm?”

“Thank you.”

He doesn’t answer and just looks at me. We’re standing in a long line of people wanting to get their share of food from the corner which seems to be a remnant of a small cafeteria. Prompto looks up then in search of something and I follow his line of sight.

“I was thinking, can you warp to that roof up there?” he asks suddenly, still looking up towards one of the buildings.

“Yeah, I can do that much.”

“Then, how about you head there first and wait for me. I’ll get your share.”

“You don’t mind?”

“Of course not!” he says with a comforting grin before nudging me towards an alley where I can warp safely.

Walking towards the alley, I look back to return his smile.

  


**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dear readers! Sorry for my long absence. Here is the chapter I promised—filled with Prompto. I hope you find it enjoyable that you crave for the next one :)


	4. Reconnecting

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You're getting closer and closer to Prompto, but is it really a good thing?

The result of getting suffocated in the crowd of refugees is that I still find it hard to breathe effortlessly. It’s as if my lungs are made of lead. The air feels thick and my pulse is still quick even though I’m now all by myself, sitting on the roof of one of the buildings in Lestallum. Bestowed with the view of the town spread vast below, I feel trapped between the darkening sky and the bright street lights. Seeing how the contrast has only gotten clearer with each passing evening, I wonder if one day the lights will no longer hold their own and darkness will engulf us all, not only invading from within.

Today, not a single star hangs in the sky but some light from the Meteor leaks into the miasma pool above. As I turn my head to see the power plant, where the Meteor is, I see wisps of blond hair showing up on the edge of the roof before a full figure eventually appears. With a small “hey,” Prompto makes his way over the roof to sit beside me.

“Sorry for the wait,” he says as he hands me my share of food in a paper bag.

“Don’t be. Actually I should be thanking you,” I say while I open the paper bag, already feeling a hole in my stomach from smelling the delicious aroma.

I take a small bite of bread and see Prompto watching me from the corner of my eye. I turn my head, about to ask him if he needs something but instead, I see a worried smile on his face.

“Feeling better now?” he asks.

I nod and give him a reassuring smile, saying nothing further as I’m overcome with my own embarrassment. Despite having decided to believe in myself—despite him believing in me that I can be strong enough—I still let my own guilt and fear haunt me. I guess I can’t just get rid of them overnight.

“So…” He trails off as he starts to eat as well. “Since you don’t hang around these parts, where do you usually eat?” 

“At the camping havens. We usually cook after a mission and just come back in the morning.”

“With your friends? Jenica and… Delilah, right?”

He refers to their brief meeting this morning when I came back from the Malboro mission. I nod, somewhat pleased that he remembers their names.

“There should be four of us, though. Our team consists of four—myself, Jenica, Delilah, and Yura.”

“Four of you, huh? Well, that takes me back,” he says with a voice that sounds both lonely and wistful.

I hum in inquiry, my cheeks stuffed with food.

“Oh, you know, I’m just reminded of when the four of us were always together. Whenever we had to camp, Ignis would cook for us too. Noct would complain, though, and Gladio would sulk and say, ‘What’s wrong with camping?’”

Having lowered his voice to impersonate his friend, Prompto lets out a chuckle before wolfing down the last bite of his bread. Then with a faraway look in his eyes, he lies down and rests his head on his arms.

“It’s not that long ago but it sure feels like years already.”

It’s the first time I’ve heard him talk about himself and his friends. I wish we’d get the chance to talk like this more. I want to get to know more about him. Do that and I might learn something about my own past too. It is of course easier to just ask him directly but he’s clearly hiding something, if how he reacted upon learning about my lack of memory is anything to go by. After all, I'm not sure it’s wise to know who I was immediately. Who’s to say I’ll be ready with the information? Having said that, my curiosity still lets a question slip from my mouth.

“Was it fun?”

Seemingly not expecting a show of interest, Prompto turns to me with a surprised look. And then I just can’t stop myself.

“What was it like back then? Please tell me more about your adventures with the Prince and the others—about the places you’ve been to. There was a chocobo ranch, too, right? Were there more of them in the past? Actually, tell me about the creatures that have gone extinct. Oh and Altissia! They say it was the most beautiful place.”

Now  _ I _ surprise myself for bursting so many questions in one go. I hope he doesn’t feel overwhelmed. Any second now and if he doesn’t answer, I’ll be so embarrassed—

Prompto lets out a small laugh instead, interrupting my thoughts. Alright, so he responds, but I still get embarrassed for an entirely different reason. It’s short-lived, however, as I’m captivated by his lively expression. His laughter rings as clear as bells.

“Yes, it was,” he says finally with a smile directed at me. “In fact, those are the best days of my life and it’ll probably take hours for me to tell you all about it—”

I knew it. I was asking for too much of his time. He probably doesn’t even want to talk about it.

“—which I don’t mind doing at all.”

I turn my head towards him so quickly I could’ve hurt my neck and feel a smile creeping up my face. And Prompto, noticing the change in my expression, clears his throat before turning away. Is he about to laugh at me again? But strangely I don’t think I mind.

“Uhh, let’s see. Where do I start? Oh, I know! Just after we left Insomnia, they let me drive the Regalia, and guess what? It broke down! I hadn’t even driven for a mile.”

“No way!” I say, imagining a panicked Prompto in my head.

“Yes way! We even had to push it all the way to Hammerhead. In the middle of the blistering heat no less! Since then, they never let me take the wheel ever again.”

There are sparks and laughter in his eyes as he recounts his experiences, and his voice is thick with fondness and longing. And just like that, he takes me on a journey to the past—of four boys in a car. Like a good storyteller, he goes into small and interesting details to describe the places, creatures, or events, and he’s even going so far as to mimic the other three and the people they’ve met that I feel like I’ve known them before. Soon, it’s as if I was with them all along. I was there when Prompto was kidnapped by a snake-like daemon, Naga. I was there when we were sneaking around the Behemoth called Deadeye to find its lair and when the big bird Zu almost swept us off a cliff with its four huge wings. I was there when we passed through the entrance between cliffs concealing the majestic Altissia. He describes the ocean so well for me, who has never been anywhere remotely close to the beaches, that I can paint an image of endless blue skies and water in my head. For what seems like hours we sit on the rooftop of Lestallum, and I feel transported into a different world entirely—one that is filled with light and life. The whole time I don’t even realise I’ve been smiling and laughing with him. Come to think of it, I’m sure there were tough times but Prompto carefully leaves them out of the story. He’s being considerate but I hope he will open up to me someday and share not only the things that are pleasant.

There is also one thing that catches my attention in particular. Out of everyone, he talks about Prince Noctis the most and understandably so since they’re best friends. However, it’s almost like Prompto idolises him—the way he sounds proud of the future King’s strength, bravery, and loyalty. Carried away by his admiration, I find myself wishing for the Prince quick return so I can meet him in person. After a funny incident involving a Catoblepas chasing after him and Prince Noctis, Prompto has apparently run out of stories to tell. Left with only with the sound of our laughter subsiding, I feel pushed back to the bleak reality.

“It’s kind of embarrassing,” he says before the silence lingers. “It’s been months so I didn’t think I’d still get emotional.”

I wish I could understand how he feels, but how could I? As someone without any memory of the past? I end up just staring at his side-profile, not knowing what to say. His eyes are downcast and glassy, illuminated by the lights below. Absent-mindedly I reach out to touch his cheek.

He lets out a small gasp before turning to face me again, his eyes as wide as saucers. Suddenly I realise just how close we’re sitting next to each other. His face is only inches from mine that I could count his freckles if I had the time. He breathes my name in a low voice and I feel my heart aching.

_ But why? _

My heart starts to beat faster and painfully when an image flashes my mind. An image that matches the very scene I’m seeing even though I can definitely tell that something is also different. Could it be that I’ve seen this before? No. I’m  _ certain _ I’ve seen this before but  _ where?_ _ When?_ Under what circumstances? The way the light shines on half of his face, leaving the other half in the shadow. I’m so close to discovering another aspect of my past yet I can’t remember anything else. And it’s starting to give me headaches. As I try to find answers in his eyes, he calls out to me, and I realise I’m making him flustered with my finger touching his cheek. By now my heartbeat has become so erratic that I almost feel breathless. I pull my hand back and stutter an excuse.

“I—sorry, I thought I saw something on your face, I—”

“N-no, it’s fine,” he reassures before pulling himself back, creating a little more space between us. “So I guess that’s enough talking about me, huh? Whaddya say to me asking in return?”

“Sure.”

“You said there should be four of you, right? Where’s the other guy? Or girl?”

Having avoided the subject all day, I find myself hesitating. I wonder what he will think once I tell him I almost cost Yura his life. The silence doesn’t go unnoticed, of course, as Prompto starts uttering apologies—perhaps assuming the worst and therefore the insensitive nature of his question. Telling him not to worry, I quickly try to explain.

“It’s not what you’re probably thinking. I just don’t feel right talking about Yura after what I’ve done.”

Just before he asks another question, I continue, “Have you ever felt like everything’s your fault?”

He remains silent, though he turns his head to the crowd of people down below. He seems to have figured out where I’m going with this.

“And it’s not just because I’m a Glaive. I really appreciate it when you said you believed in me, I’ll let you know. And despite how I reacted earlier, despite still feeling like I’m part of the problem, it’s nothing compared to… I thought I could live with the guilt but I realise I was being naïve. It only resulted in another regret. It made me hesitate and my friend had to bear the brunt of it. He almost died, or even worse, turned into a daemon.”

He shifts his gaze back at me. His eyes are gentle, silently telling me to go on. Hours ago I would have kept it to myself, not wanting to show my weakness. But with the way he was being gentle and understanding towards me, I feel I can trust him and explain things more clearly. So I tell him everything that happened the day before I met him—how I was struggling with myself to kill a human who was turning into a daemon that Yura had to step in. When I finish, instead of empty words of comfort, he gives me a question instead.

“Have you visited him?”

I shake my head. “After what I did? I can’t say for sure I wouldn’t cause him—or any of them in fact—more trouble in the future.”

He stares at me in return, as if thinking of something to say, but I’m honestly glad just having someone to confide in. I only hope I’m not making him worry needlessly. 

“Then that time, when I called out to you the first time… You were struggling with these things inside your head?”

With a self-deprecating laugh, I nod.

“Y’know, believe it or not, I was once in a similar situation. And I don’t know if this means anything to you but a certain someone told me I worry too much about what other people want that I don’t even know what I want anymore. She said that for once I should forget what other people think and figure out what I really want.”

What  _ I _ really want?

As I try to think upon his words, he gives me a rather sad but comforting smile.

“Correct me if I’m wrong but I think what you want is to be with your friends, Y/N. At least that’s what I wanted when I was in your situation.”

His words have finally sunk in and I feel like I’ve been slapped hard when I realise what a horrible friend I am for not having visited Yura ever since that incident. That’s the least I could do but I was so blinded by self-pity.

“You’re right, Prompto,” I stand up and feel a surge of newfound determination. “I have to go!”

Still sitting on the rooftop, Prompto shoots me a dumbfounded expression.

“I… I have to visit Yura.”

“O-oh, of course!” he responds briefly, still taken aback by the sudden change in my attitude.

“I-I’ll see you later!”

Overcome with eagerness, I climb down the building at high speed. The last thing I can hear of Prompto is him shouting at me to be careful. But before long, I am running with all my might through the market—not even sparing a glance to the crowd—heading for the Glaives’ quarters. My feet feel lighter than ever. Like I have one less burden to carry.

 

* * *

 

 

When I reach the quarters, I enter the building near Iris’ little shop, practically flying towards the room where my friends are waiting for me. Stopping in front of the door, I try to catch my breath and carefully place my hand on the doorknob. 

I snicker as the situation dawns on me. I still have doubts with the way I’m treating the doorknob as something fragile like I’m about to open a pandora box, when really I should trust my friends. Swallowing a lump in my throat, I turn the doorknob and see three familiar faces turning to me.

Seeing Yura now feels like it’s a long time ago when in fact it’s just a few days. Still looking groggy, he stares at me with an expression of half-relief, half-disbelief. He’s sitting on the bed near the window while Jenica sits on a chair next to him. On the other bed is Delilah sitting on the edge, her eyes alight.

“Has something come up, Y/N? You’re out of sorts.” Jenica stands up, looking at me with a mix of worry and confusion on her face.

I shake my head, my smile growing wider without my conscious.

“You’re just in time, Y/N, Yura just woke up!” Delilah shouts in glee before pulling me into the room to sit with her.

“You seem so excited, Del,” I tell her with a giggle, feeling slightly embarrassed at her reaction but at the same time giddy.

“Of course! You’ve finally come around. I mean, you’ve been distant lately.”

“It’s true, we were worried,” Jenica adds, the corners of her lips turn up slightly.

“You were?” I ask, seeking an affirmation more than an answer.

“Well, yes. Something’s bothering you although  _ I _ didn’t notice at first,” she says, throwing a glance at the girl sitting next to me.

“Y/N… You’ve been hard on yourself, haven’t you?” Delilah squeezes my hand.

Having her expose my feelings, I look down at my hands resting on my lap. I think back to the times when the four of us weren’t as close as we are now. Even back then, Delilah was the one who approached me first. She was the first to pay attention closely and bring us together. Once again I can’t entirely hide things from her. It must be thanks to her that even Jen is showing concern. With the way she was acting cold and brusque yesterday, I was worried that she had blamed me too.

“But don’t you think it was my fault?” I ask to confirm my thoughts, my head still hung low.

“Your fault? Of course not! If so, Jen and I were just as responsible. We were all caught off guard. Yura just happened to snap out of it faster.”

“Even I don’t blame you, Y/N,” a gentle, low voice finally comes from the other bed.

I look up and find Yura fixing his eyes on me, his mouth slowly curling into a smile.

“Where you been, stranger?” he calls to me.

I look from Yura and then to my other two comrades. Concern but also relief and gratitude forming a whirlpool of emotions in my heart, and I feel my eyes getting wet. 

“How are you feeling?” I ask with an apologetic tone, my voice slightly cracking.

In a rather exaggerated manner, he lifts up his chin slightly and pouts. “Awesome, I guess. Could’ve been even better if you had come earlier, though.”

I chuckle at his attempt to act angry, the tears forming in my eyes threaten to spill. “I’m seriously worried and sorry.”

“No, stop, I just told you I didn’t blame you. Could’ve happened to anyone, you know, what happened to you.” A carefree smile returns to his face.

“Then how about  _ you _ stop whatever it was you were doing? No more playing hero,” I jest back, knowing I’d have done the same thing were I in his position.

“Hey, I couldn’t help it, what was I s’posed to do? Let it steal you away from me? Nope. Can’t risk putting any of you in danger, right girls?”

I turn to see Delilah in a fit of giggles—she’s finding whatever Yura does amusing as always. Meanwhile, Jenica puts on a half-smile and rolls her eyes at the grey-haired male—secretly amused, I’m sure. No one would have expected it seeing how quiet and stern he is outside that he loves to entertain us—even if it means being silly. The smiles on their faces light up the room that it’s as if the sun is shining through the windows when it’s actually very dark outside. How could I have taken these moments for granted? If what Mell said is true, that we were also teammates in the past, then it’s all the more reason I have to treasure them.

“Take it easy, playboy. I know for a fact that you  _ were _ in a critical condition so don’t get all cocky,” I tell him as I try to hold back my own laughter.

“Say, Y/N, there’s something different about you,” Jenica suddenly points out.

“Whatever do you mean?” I say without even realising that I’m grinning from ear to ear.

“I know, right?” Yura chimes in. “You know you don’t smile much. And when you do, it feels strained. But from the moment you walk into this room, it’s like you’re beaming.”

I snort before asking, “I am?”

It takes a few seconds until I realise how the muscles around my cheeks feel tight indeed. With the realisation comes embarrassment and I feel my face growing hot.

“Ha! I know! It’s Prompto, you guys! She’s been spending some time with him,” Delilah informs them with a cheery voice.

Prompto? Wait, I just left him all of a sudden, didn’t I? I hadn’t even thanked him properly. And to think he was the one who helped me realise what I wanted. I’m such a horrible person!

“Prompto?” Yura echoes the name, certainly puzzled by the unexpected mention of it.

“Ah, yes, you’ve been with him since this morning,” Jenica adds though I can’t focus on the implication of her words.

He’s probably leaving once the day breaks!

“I’ll explain later but I’ve gotta go now!” I say as I run towards the door. “I’ll come back soon!”

Closing the door behind me, I make my way to leave the building as fast as my feet can carry me. But as soon as I step outside, it appears I have no need to jog around the town. There he is, leaning against the wall next to Cid’s station, only a few steps away from me. The sound of the door prompts him to turn his head. His mouth falls open at the sight of me.

“Haha! I was  _ just _ in the middle of guessing which building you ran off to,” he says before approaching me.

Somehow his smile seems brighter than ever and I can’t help but stare. My body feels warm despite the chilly air of the approaching dawn. My chest is filled with emotions I can’t yet understand.

“Everything okay, Y/N? I was sure you’d spend more time with your friends. Nothing… bad happened, right?”

His expression shifts to one of worry—eyes wide open, brows turned upwards.  _ Why _ does he look so sad? So full of concern for me? Who am I to him really? The curiosity is killing me but that can wait.

“Something  _ did _ happen,” I say, trying hard to fight the smirk creeping up my face.

But as I hear a gasp and see panic manifests in his eyes, I forget all about teasing him and quickly rectify my statement. “Something good! Something really,  _ really _ good.”

“Damn, you almost got me,” he says with a relieved sigh.

Then in a rather pleasant silence, we smile at each other.

“I owe it to you, Prompto.”

With a nervous laugh, he moves one hand to rub the back of his neck and then turns away as if hiding his face from me.

“Nah, I just repeated what someone said to me. If anything, I’ve been wanting to apologise for dragging you to the market and made you feel uncomfortable.”

“It was necessary, so don’t apologise. And you may think that you were just repeating someone else’s words but it doesn’t matter. They were just what I needed to hear. And you know what, I actually have another reason to thank you. The photos…” I stop as I realise what I’m about to say.

_ The photos you took helped me sleep and stopped the nightmares somehow_. 

Now that I think of it, he’s done a lot of things in such a short time. The photos, the crowd, the chat on the rooftop. Hard to believe that smiling or laughing were nearly impossible a few days ago. Am I exaggerating when I say things have turned for the better ever since Prompto showed up? It’s like I’m slowly learning to walk again and finding the strength to support my own weight. But there’s something off-putting about this and I feel a sudden, nagging fear. How much will he mean to me?

“Um, nevermind. I forgot what I was going to say. Anyway, you shouldn’t be sorry after everything you’ve done to help me.”

Something else comes to my attention as I think of how my friends still accept me. It’s true that I want to be with them but do we deserve it? I’m still questioning what we’re really fighting for. At first I thought I’m fighting to protect the people but if our betrayal had caused the Starscourge… People turn into daemons and we kill them. How can I say we’re protecting them? Then are we fighting for forgiveness?

“...For hearth and home…” I whisper to myself the words that serve as our motto and battle-cry all this time.

I’ve been so blind. It’s almost funny now how I’ve been losing sleep over questions and worries which answers have always been right in front of me. Prompto calls my name and I realise I’ve been staring at him while thoughts are running through my head.

“That’s it, isn’t it? For hearth and home! That’s what we’re fighting for. It doesn’t matter whether people blame us or not. All that matters is that we’re fighting to reclaim our homeland!”

Oh no, I’m rambling in front of him again. 

I clap a hand to my mouth and look away in shame. “Ugh, I keep running my mouth around you.”

“Eh? Don’t stop, Y/N! I’m actually glad. I mean, it’s like you’re saying you trust me so—”

“You’re not annoyed at all?”

“Nuh-uh, not a bit,” he says, shaking his head from left to right.

It somehow hurts when he’s being this kind, knowing he’s keeping something about my past from me. All these emotions I never felt before, I can’t identify them but they’re eerily familiar. Is it just wishful thinking that we were once friends… or even more?

“Umm, you should probably head back. Be with your friends and get some rest. Missions await, am I right?”

“When can I see you again?” I spontaneously ask.

A blush appears on his cheeks, making me self-conscious of what I have just said that I can’t help but getting flustered myself. I should’ve phrased it differently.

Clearing my throat, I say, “I mean the practice today was really fun, wasn’t it?”

“Y-you think so? Cool,” he stutters before letting out a chuckle, a desperate attempt to hide his nervousness. “So, I was about to tell you that I’d probably be gone for quite some time. But not to worry! I’ll try to wrap things up as soon as possible.”

I give a slight nod before excusing myself. Heading back to the building, I can see him waving me goodbye out of the corner of my eye. I turn my head slightly and give him one last smile. He stands still until I get inside. Then, leaning on the door, I contemplate how curious it is that despite my uneasiness, I still wish we could spend more time together. Not to mention that we have spent hours together just now. I wonder if he knows something that can explain what I felt on the rooftop. 

My memories are slowly coming back to me and I’m afraid they won’t always be as pleasant as meeting Mell or enjoying carnivals.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading! Special thanks to apieceofreincarnation, AkaraSoma, Teddie, Hrist, knjsnoona, Xzillia, and 13 guests for leaving kudos. I really appreciate the on-going support :D


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